This week, I log on and see that the price of my book has gone up. It is now at £1.02, as posted on the Amazon UK site. Thing is, not only do I want to keep the price under a quid, I had just tweeted that it was only 99p. The tweet was my attempt at a mini sales push. My message was it’s Valentine’s Day, stuck for a gift? Then why not download my book, it’s only 99p…etc. And now it’s £1.02. Damn. I am not now sure what to do.
I decide to check in and reset the price. But as it can take up to 12 hours to amend, I can only sit back and wait. In the middle of this cost crisis, my youngest comes up, gives me a quick Valentine’s hug and pegs it out the door. Meanwhile, the eldest walks past, unaware that she has a post-it note on her back, courtesy of little sister, that reads, ‘I love Daniel Radcliffe. ‘Sweetheart,’ I say, one eye on Amazon. ‘Yes?’ she says. I glance at the sticker on her back. That’s quite funny, I think. ‘Oh, nothing,’ I say. Off she skips (literally). I am a bad mum.
It also seems I am a bad PR person, because this week my main task has been to write up a press release about my book in a vain attempt to drum up some major publicity. Thing is, I haven’t a clue where to start. All I have is a winking cursor and two kids hyped on on half term and Love Hearts running around shouting,’It’s a cheese life!’ Don’t ask. As luck would have it, an old friend of ours has kindly offered some good advice on who to contact press wise. All I need to do now is draw up a list of what to do and when, then stick to it. I hear the eldest raise her voice at her sibling. ‘I do not love him!’ she shouts. Then, a door slams. I sigh and return to my screen, squinting at my book price. Something falls from my back. I look down to see a post-it note with the words ‘I love’ scratched out and replaced with, ‘Kick me, Valentine’. I pick up the note and stick it on the screen. It might come in handy later if I don’t sort this book price out.