#fridayreads: A poem about depression by my 17-yr old self…

fiction-fridayWelcome to Fiction Friday.

This week, in hail to yesterday’s National Poetry Day, and ahead of tomorrow’s World Mental Health day, I’m (bravely) posting a poem I wrote when I was 17. Let me say that again: when I was 17. I’m 42 now…

Back then, I was poetry obsessed. I remember I was going through a tricky social stage and was probably, now I recall it all, feeling down. So I did what I knew best and wrote – in this case, a poem.

It’s an account, a comment, I guess, on the hectic quality of life (even then before social media), of feeling down and how things can conspire, how that can make you feel.

Sure, the poem, as poems do, plays heavily on emotional elements, but

The original poem in my 17-year old self scrawl...
The original poem in my 17-year old self scrawl…

the premise is there. I’m quite proud, looking back now, that I was brave enough to put down my feelings – on what was what I now understand to be depression –  on to paper.  Thankfully, the feelings didn’t last for long as life moved on, but it was a tricky time – you know the score: friend troubles, exams, you name it. And writing, well, writing was my safety net. It caught me when I fell and helped me get back up on two feet again, ready to walk, then later run, to what ever lay ahead.

So, I’ll continue that bravery and share this with you today. Welcome to the mind of my 17 year old self. Gulp…

“Flight of the Dragon”

The gigantic blue sea dragon storm through the skies,

As he comes into my dreams and opens my eyes.

His head turns to my head and transfers my mind,

To make me think like all of mankind.

 

Helplessly I struggle and try to break free,

For the images that appear are not common to me:

An evil black shadow grabs at the dead,

And the blood that seeps out is no longer red.

A swooping green vulture tears at the poor,

And their possessions are robbed just as once before.

 

At this point I jerk and uneasily move around,

As my body floats up then falls to the ground.

But then on the ground large snakes appear,

And the blood in my veins is injected with fear.

They slide across my body and pierce my soul,

While their venom once inside me erodes a deep hole.

The hole pulls me through and caves me in,

Trapped in a battle impossible to win.

 

The sun then rises and fills me with hope,

As I struggle to sever the deadly sharp rope.

But just as my spirits begin to rise,

The sun turns to black to meet my demise.

 

I turn back and forth frantic for a way out,

And once panic sets in I begin to shout.

Then I hear a faint noise, and my adrenaline starts pumping,

As my meager hope of life rapidly start slumping.

 

I slowly look around, and from the corner of my eye,

I see an angry pound of dogs standing nearby.

The palms of my hands turn red raw,

As I pull at the rope more and more.

The dogs starts to move, slowly at first,

But I know that their anger is soon to burst.

 

Then quickly they pound nearer and nearer still,

As I am kept as their victim against my will.

I slip to the ground in hopeless despair,

As I tear at the ground and grasp at my hair.

 

Then through the darkness appears a light,

And for the first time ever I put up a fight.

I can see the vultures circling above,

As the dogs become quiet like the coo of a dove.

 

Then the gigantic blue sea dragon storms through the skies,

As he comes into my dreams and opens my eyes.

My sleep becomes steady and ridden of fear,

As I know that my dragon is no longer near.

And his head pulls from my head and leaves my mind,

And no longer must I think like all of mankind.

 

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